It seems that I can’t get away from moms vying to win a Bad Mom contest. I have a (Facebook) friend who frequently updates her status with reasons she is a bad mother. Last week I saw this blog post by a woman essentially bragging as to why she is a worse mom than anyone else.
I do have a sense of humor and acknowledge that sometimes you have to laugh at wiping up a spill with your sock. That said, I can’t help but think constant jokes about being a bad mom is really just bad–both for us moms and our kids.
It says a lot about our society that announcing your accomplishments is bragging and therefore unpopular, but celebrating every minor failing is welcome humor.
To counter all the Bad Mom energy out there, I keep track of ways in which I am a Good Mom. In fact, a Really Awesome Mom. There are certainly days when I struggle–more often than not, in fact–but there are also small victories all the time and that is why being a mom is the greatest thing in the world. I might not post to Facebook every “mom win” I have, but I keep a mental inventory of them to remind me that I’m doing a bang up job.
For example, when my older son was 3, with the help of my father-in-law, I drove him to and from a pre-school in a town 20 minutes away so that when we moved to that town mid-year he wouldn’t have the upset of changing schools. Not everyone around me thought this was necessary, but I insisted on it. The move itself was a very big change in his life, so I wanted him to have consistency in his daily school routine. He got through our move with flying colors and I know this was a major reason why.
I think we would all be a little easier on ourselves if we didn’t try to live up to a mothering standard that is impossible to reach. I am fortunate enough to have a ton of family nearby, along with an amazing nanny, and even with this tremendous support system some days it is still hard to catch a breath. Today my pediatrician told me they are out of flu shots, so now I have to call around to other pediatricians, find one who will take us as a walk-in, and miss yet another day at work to get that done because my baby is too young for the flu shot clinic at CVS. OK, I can do that, but I can’t do it AND also fit in Mommy and Me swimming, going to a dairy collective for unpasturized milk, and watching the baby sign language DVD sitting in my drawer.
And that’s OK, because I’m still an Awesome Mom. And I say that proudly, without a hint of sarcasm.